I thought I had the dream schedule. The ability to sleep in. The ability to take a long morning walk and exercise and make a homemade breakfast while I journal and start work whenever I wanted. I embraced it back in the spring. I would sleep in, take my time in the morning, sit down somewhere between 9 and 10 AM, and suddenly be filled with anxiety for the rest of the day. Go to sleep late, wake up late, rinse and repeat that cycle for months until I finally realized that I genuinely was not happy.
Wait, what?
I know what you’re thinking, what I just described probably sounds like a dream schedule for most people so how could I not like it? I didn’t like it because it wasn’t the right schedule for me and my personality. It took me some trial and error to figure that out. Once I realized it was the lack of structure that was making me feel so lost and so anxious every day, I realized that I could do something about it so I completely flipped my schedule.
It’s probably going to sound a little crazy.
I get up at 4:30 in the morning.
Now before you click out please hear me out. The only reason that I’m actually able to do that is because my husband does it as well. He doesn’t have a choice because he has to be at work by 6 AM and we live about 45 minutes away but I guarantee if he and my dog were still sleeping in a dark bedroom I would not get up either. Now that I have that out, I’m going to walk you guys through how I determined that was a time I should get up and hopes that my brainstorming process helps some of you as you figure out your routine as well!
So what happened?
So first let’s talk about what was happening. With my long luxurious routine, I sometimes wasn’t sitting down to work until about 10. My husband usually gets home from work around 3 and I wouldn’t want to keep working after he was home. That left me only working five hours of work in a day and that’s assuming that I didn’t take a lunch break, a bonus walk with my dog, or get distracted by anything.
On average I would say it was closer to 4 hours of work each day. I was writing a weekly to-do list that reflected 40 hours of work but I actually was only working about 20 hours.
I was constantly behind on my projects
I never finished my goals
I stayed in a constant state of feeling overwhelmed.
What was supposed to be a really relaxing morning was actually causing me so much more stress across my entire day. I had to change things.
Enter the Change
What was on my shortlist?
- I wanted to work 8 hours a day
- I wanted to be done with work by 7
- My 30-minute walk with my dog was a non-negotiable
- I wanted to get my workouts in before work
- I wanted time to eat breakfast and read my book for 10 minutes
- I also needed to shower, get dressed, do my make-up
I used to get up for my teaching job between 5:30 and 6 so I knew I could get up early. But was that early enough to fit everything in? No, not quite. I really should get up at 5 to be done by 7. If I am getting up by 5, I should go to bed by 10. So there we go! A 5am-10pm routine.
But wait, my husband’s routine is 9:30 pm-4:30 am. That’s only 30 minutes earlier. Was there enough value in delaying my schedule by 30 minutes to make it work? No, not really. Plus, I thought having the accountability of him making sure I was awake before he left for work would help, and boom that’s how I got it at 4:30. There have been a lot of pros, but there are cons as well. We can’t have it all. You can’t be a stay up to midnight, wake up at 4, and get 7 hours of sleep person-you have to give some stuff up. So let’s look at that.
The Pros
- I’m a huge morning person. I’m now leaning into that instead of fighting against it
- I am much more productive in the mornings
- My anxiety really amps up late at night. By going to bed early, I eliminated that
- I reduced instructive thoughts overall
- I’m on a consistent sleep schedule
- I’m actually getting more sleep that I used to get
- I get to see my husband before work every day
- He actually gets better sleep because I don’t wake him when I come to bed anymore
- It’s been a better fit for our family overall
The Cons
- I go to bed when the sun is still up. That is kind of weird
- I used to love staying up late to read. I had to give that up
- My family text thread is active through 11pm. I used to be part of that, I miss it now
- It’s hard to balance intimacy/leisure time when I get home late and go to bed early
- I sometimes miss alone time by myself late at night
- Sometimes I do want to sleep in
- It will be harder when it is really dark and really cold in the winter
I did give things up, but what I gained is worth it right now. That might change in the future, but it is perfect for where I am in life at this point.
Here is an overview of my mornings:
This gives me a 30-minute lunch break, 8 hours of work, and I’m done working by 3. I’m more productive, I’m actually spending more time with my family, and I’m less anxious and not really tired at all. It works.
Here is the formula you can follow for your routine
- Make the list of what you want to do in your ideal routine
- Figure out how long each task will realistically take you
- Add it all together
- Figure out what time you need to leave for work
- Count backwards
- Need to leave at 7:30 and have a 90-minute routine? Get up at 6!
Feeling inspired to start a routine but still struggling? Check out the barriers post with some tips to help. Comment what your morning routine is-I love chatting about our ideal mornings!