I’m sure some of you have been in this position. You are walking into an IEP and the parents have brought in outside support. Maybe it’s a BCBA or an advocate. Maybe it’s a lawyer. You are stressed and nervous. Your stomach hurts. Your palms are sweaty. These meetings are never fun, but they don’t have to be awful either.
It’s important to remember that if a parent is bringing someone to their IEP, there is something wrong. Even if you can’t see the issue, if the parent feels like they need the support then something is wrong. This is their child, and they are going to do everything they can to help their child.
When you start to understand how a parent must feel when they have to bring someone to the meeting, you can start to understand where they are coming from. I knew that anything I could do to make the meeting smoother for everyone would help.
Tip 1: Provide Proof
Go ahead and graph your data and bring it to the meeting as a protective strategy. Bring work samples. Bring any assessment you gave. If you gave your student the VB-Mapp, or Briagance, or an assessment from Unique Learning System, print it off and bring it with you.
I also brought copies of parent communication. I would print off emails and maintain a phone log. My phone log consisted of the date, the time, and what we discussed. I would have that at the meeting.
I would also organize everything for the meeting. I might have separate clips for reading, math, behavior, communication, etc. I don’t want to have to search for piles to find that one reading sample. It reduced my stress, which helped keep the meeting feeling calm.
Tip #2: Zip It
Be short and to the point. A lot of people will ramble when they feel nervous. They will start to talk and when you ramble, your mouth moves faster than your brain. You are not really processing what you are saying.
In these meetings, everything you say needs to be clear, concise, and factual. This is not a time to be sharing anecdotes. This is not a time to be sharing that sweet story. Just answer the questions and don’t supply extra information. It doesn’t help the team when you give them so much to process that they are not even sure what you said.
Tip #3: Silence is Golden
This is a very uncomfortable thing to learn how to do, but it can be very helpful. Know how to let there be a pause or silence. This gives everybody at the table a moment to process what you said. It gives them a chance to review any of the supplemental information you provided. It also gives you an opportunity to breathe and center yourself.
I would have situations where an advocate would ask me a question. I would answer and lay out 4 pieces of supplemental material to support my answer. Sometimes they would just stare, waiting for me to say more, but I didn’t have anything to add. I would just wait for a follow-up question or for the meeting to move on.
It is uncomfortable but it is also beneficial for everyone if you can master this. Not only does it help you, but it also helps the parents who might be overwhelmed by everything that is going on in the meeting.
Tip #4: Be Upfront
Remember, typically you have more contact with the family than your supervisors. You might be aware of concerns or issues that your supervisor does not know about. When you go to them ahead of time and say I’m concerned about this IEP meeting because of X, Y, and Z, they might be able to get you the answers you need. They might be able to help you organize.
It helps when they know how to support you. There is nothing worse than being in a meeting, completely overwhelmed, and a supervisor hands the meeting to you to lead. When they know of issues ahead of time, they can help assist you and it can help keep the meeting running smoothly for everybody.
Tip #5: Check it then check it again
Part of our job as special education teachers is to be well versed in the law. The unfortunate thing is a lot of times we don’t have a lot of training or schooling but we still have the responsibility.
Make sure you know the answers to some basic legal questions if you already know they are going to come up. For example, it’s helpful to know if your students are legally required to have Adaptive PE before you go into a meeting where access to Adaptive PE is a concern.
If you are not sure where to go, I always recommend checking out Wrights Law. It is a super helpful website for teachers and parents. Wrights Law has also published a couple of books. I have linked my favorites below.
Have more questions? Head to Autumn’s blog over at Supports for Special Students for more information on how to get answers to your legal questions. I hope this blog was helpful and gave you some proactive strategies before you head into a tough meeting